Hey, October 8th, 2012Well this week has still had its ups and downs but mostly ups and that is a typical week of the life of a missionary. Sometimes I feel super bipolar...which can be a good thing and bad but mostly good because it is giving me even more to work on!!! :) Those are the best times when all your weaknesses are thrown in your face but it also gives me even something more that I can rely on the Lord and truly feel his power and atonement in my life. The atonement is so real and I have never felt it more powerful than now being on a mission and truly asking the Lord to help me overcome my own weaknesses. It is great because I know my Heavenly Father is listening otherwise I would never make it through some days. Heavenly Father truly hears and answers prayers through tender mercies and sometimes we think he doesn't but it is because it is something so small to help us through till the "big" answer comes. There is a song that I just love a part of it says "what if these trials in our lives are your mercies in disguise." I just love that line and it is so true!
Conference was AMAZING!!!! The spirit was so thick with every talk and just seemed to be even more so with each session!! I seriously cried when the annoucement was made for sisters to serve at 19!!!! The door has just been opened for so many more sister missionaries! And Heaven knows we need them. It is so great that they can choose to go before they get so involved with school and thinking about getting married, that is just doesn't seem like an option. My first two thoughts were Rachel and Raini and about going on a mission. You saying that they thought about it too just made me want to cry even more! So, I hope you (Rachel and Raini) and the other girls in our family when the time comes, will read this and prayer fervently about going...because I can promise you that you will NEVER do anything as hard nor as rewarding as a mission. It prepares you for everything you will do with the rest of your life. You might think I am biased because I am out here but I am not...well maybe a little...but still. :) I would only encourage you to go because you truly learn who you are to Heavenly Father and learn how much he loves you and all of his children. You have so much joy at the end of the night when your feet, back, brain and cheeks hurt from smiling so much... yet you can still smile and just feel so happy that you helped someone and served them. It isn't easy but it is so worth it. There are hard days but there are great days that make you forget the bad. I don't remember who it was but there was an apostle who talked about sister missionaries and how they aren't required to go but that we need strong mothers to raise the kids that will come into the world at a time that is going to be hard and a mission will teach you future Mothers everything you need so you can be that kind of strong Mother. It went something like that. If you can find it, you might enjoy it. Marriage is so important...but If you have a desire to go (D&C 4:3), the Lord will always use you and marriage will always be there when you get back. If it's right, the Lord will tell you! I promise you that. and even if you don't get a resounding yes and you still want to go... GO!!!! You will never regret it. I promise you that. It is such a great joy to me to get up and put my name tag on and become one with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and go to work. It's great! Ok..I am done ith my advice and rant or whatever you want to call it :)
My favorite talk was Jeffery R. Holland. I love that man. He is so bold and straightforward, yet he does it with so much love that it only makes you want to be better! He truly is inspiring. His talk was just so great and meant so much to me as a missionary. I loved how every talk, no matter what it was, always went back to using the Atonement. The Atonement isn't just a one time thing but something we have the beautiful privilege of using over and over again to help us become the person Heavenly Father intends us to be. 2 Nephi 31:20 pretty much rapped up conference for me in a nutshell. It was so great to hear from the living prophets are we are so blessed!This week has been good and busy. We have been meeting with a lot of less active members in the ward that are so wonderful and so kind. There is one lady that we had the chance to meet with that she told us she got offended and left the church and a few years back, two missionaries knocked on her door a while ago and she told them to go away and never return. Then we showed up a few years later and she was so prepared by the Lord to accept our invitation to come back and talk to her. It is amazing to see how the Lord prepares people over time to accept the message we share. We have had quite a few dinners this week with members and every time we go for dinner and get to know them I always walk away amazed and wondering, why isn't the whole city of Chatsworth members because our ward has so many neat and inspiring people. I just love them and their kindness and their willingness to be involved in the work and help us in any way they can. It's funny because this ward is so use to elder's that they cook a lot of food and then here come the sisters who don't eat near as much as the elder's. It’s great. Last night the family we ate with told us we couldn't say the “full” word there because in their house it was a cuss word. He is also from Hawaii and they eat a lot but it’s so great. I know my last letter wasn't that positive so I hope this one is because even though this week has been hard, It has been great!
I am finally feeling better except I think I might be getting sick again but I am doing everything I can to not get sick because it sucks! I want to work but if I get sick I can’t, but it should be ok. Tell grandma I got her letter and Thanks and I miss her, and I sent her one back if she can find it :) I play the piano a lot and it is great because I miss getting to play it all the time. Normally about once a week for our training meetings but the Lord knows that is how I release stress so he provides ways to play it when I least expect it and it's great. Today we went to a place called the rock where you can see the ocean from there but it was super foggy...or smoggy however you look at it but we will go back sometime but it was great to be out in nature. Normally we do laundry, email, shopping, cleaning, napping, letter writing, napping...more napping...haha I wish!!! Some Mondays are busier than a normal day in the week. The library is about 3 blocks from our apartment so not too far but we are at the apple store because it was closed today. Sorry to hear about raini's car! and my car! haha I am just really glad she is ok and nothing more was damaged or hurt but that stinks about it. I hope things work out for her. There are a million subways here but we haven't used it yet just because we keep getting money from older members who don't cook very much. So we still have the gift card !! Oh I thought of something else I want for Christmas...stamps!!!! :) That cd and stamps would be great and put the money you would normally spend into my mission. I mean it! :) That is the most important thing and I can never repay you for the service and help you are giving me to keep me out here. The Lord is truly blessing our family and I can feel it from here!!! Tell grandpa I miss him lots and lots and lots but I am surviving :) hope dad isn't too tired from spud harvest! Make sure you get some rest and don't work too hard.!!! I love you and miss you dearly! Keep going to CHURCH, PRAYING and READING . They spell CPR and truly are our lifeline to live with Heavenly Father again! Much love Sister (Me) Haws :)